steven speilberg

I use to have these reoccuring nightmares whenever I had fevers. These nightmares were so terrifying that I would be reminded of them for several days afterwards. However, as hard I as try, for the longest time I could never reconstruct the the details of these nightmares when i am awake. It is perhaps little paradoxical to think that one can identify something that one cannot even remember, but I knew these were the same nightmares because I can remember the sensation of during the mist of having it. While nightmares are common amongst those of us who sleep, mine feels different :P, . My impression from others who have had nightmares is that they are usually able to recount a lot of the specific details in their dreams. Often they can vividly describe the events and happenings logically. This is not the case with my nightmare. As corny as it may sound, my nightmares were abstract, which in a certain elitist sense, is even more frightening. I was so frightening by my last nightmare that woke up in the of it. The sensation of my heart racing while lying down still was something i will never forget. My semi alert state was partially warped in fear, even with my eyes open,, I was still tense and breathing hard. As if I had just dodged a speeding car or was missed by a flying projectile.

pick 2

"Money power respect, the key to life, Money power respect what you need in life". Lyrics from a rap song during the 90 which frequented on the radio. The message is simple. First you get the money, then you get the power, after you get the power, then you get the respect. One things leads to another and its a simple routine. As I a kid, I vaguely understood the sentiments behind these lyrics. At the time, money power and respect seemed like three cohesive goals that fits naturally in ones aspirations. It made sense that money came first, as its the catalyst behind everything. Its what drives the other two, power and respect to their rightful places.

The thing that the song alludes to but never mentions is, what money power and respect all ultimately leads to. One would be quick to point out that all of these elements would lead to "happiness". Had the song actually contained the word happiness. I think it would have been shunned by everyone. The word happiness just seems too light hearted. It takes the edginess away from the song's pragmatic perspective. If Money power and respect is the key to life, then happiness means whatever you have to do to obtain money power and respect. This would include all practices, ethical or unethical, all options are on the table. In this regard, the song is extremely disturbing. And happiness seems to come at the expense of absurdity.